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By Stormy Smoleny Ph.D.

By Stormy Smoleny Ph.D.

Truths from the Self is an insightful guide to discovering the ever-changing wisdom of the present moment and its application to every facet of our lives. Moving us beyond fixed beliefs and rigid value systems, this book shows us how to transform ideological absolutes into flexible responses based on the realities of the current situation. Both practical and philosophical, Truths from the Self shows us how to find our inner truth, evaluate our motivations, assess our current reality, and emerge with powerful options for our lives. It helps us to see clearly into the nature of a person or situation in our present moment, differentiate between factors without judgment, and shed our fears of evaluating reality with clarity and common sense. A superior guide to comporting ourselves with both strength and sensitivity, this book illustrates how to bring wisdom to each new situation and respond in the best possible manner to our present-moment circumstances.


Truths from the Self shows us . . . 


  • How to find our inner truth;

  • The difference between inner truth and self-gratification;

  • The importance of exercising our powers of differentiation;

  • Three energies that must be mastered in order to act with present-moment wisdom;

  • The difference between compromise and a dynamic balance of energy;

  • How soul movement differs from conscience;

  • The importance of dealing with reality rather than idealized images;

  • How to use all parts of self as the moment demands;

  • How present-moment wisdom is based in attunement to self and others;

  • How to give to others without impoverishing the self.


Written by a nationally certified psychoanalyst, Truths from the Self is factual and well grounded, yet resonates deeply with the heart and soul.  Reading it is more than informational; it is an uplifting and joyful experience.

Table of Contents







 Insight 1           Energy Movements

 Insight 2          Assertive Energy

                        (Outward-Moving Energy)

 Insight 3           Receptive Energy

                        (Inward-Moving Energy)

 Insight 4          Static Energy

 Insight 5          Compromise vs. Dynamic Balance

 Insight 6          Differentiation

 Insight 7          Realism

 Insight 8          Beliefs

 Insight 9          Inner Truth

 Insight 10        Inner Truth vs. Honesty with Self

 Insight 11        Inner Truth vs. Self-Gratification

 Insight 12        Ascending and Descending Energy

 Insight 13        Flexibility in Goal Attainment

 Insight 14        Ethical Behavior

 Insight 15        Truth vs. Fairness

 Insight 16        Integrating Male and Female Energies

 Insight 17        Boundaries

 Insight 18        Non-Resistance

 Insight 19        Commitment

 Insight 20        Self-Sacrifice

 Insight 21        Idealization

 Insight 22        Identifying Pathology

 Insight 23        The Meaning of Behavior

 Insight 24        Straight Lines and Spirals

 Insight 25        Soul Movement vs. Conscience

 Insight 26        Levels of Perspective





Insight 27        Truth vs. Rationale

Insight 28        Countering Prejudice

Insight 29        Manipulation

Insight 30        Contamination

Insight 31        Holism as Dogma

Insight 32        Misidentifying the Meek





Insight 33        Complementary Halves

Insight 34        Acceptance vs. Rejection

Insight 35        Trust vs. Mistrust

Insight 36        Dependence vs. Independence

Insight 37        Peace vs. Fighting Back

Insight 38        Leading vs. Following

Insight 39        Speaking vs. Remaining Quiet





                       Energy Exchange: Introduction

Insight 40        Energy Exchange:

                        Transactional Giving vs. Unconditional Giving

Insight 41        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving as a Form of Appeasement

 Insight 42        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Heal Dysfunction and Manage Chaos

 Insight 43        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving as a Method of Communication

 Insight 44        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Create Need

 Insight 45        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Deny Noxious Feelings

 Insight 46        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Deny Aggression

 Insight 47        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Deny Sorrow

 Insight 48        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Deny Fear

 Insight 49        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Reverse Powerlessness

 Insight 50        Energy Exchange:

                        Giving to Undo Unacceptable Elements of Self

                         Concluding Thoughts




                         About the Author






By Stormy Smoleny Ph.D.


IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF takes you on a compelling inner quest to find and reclaim the disowned self -- the abandoned, unaided part of us that must live outside our love because it’s too negative, too painful, or too threatening. IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF shows you how to execute a daring rescue of your unwanted self, allowing you to reinstate it to its rightful place in your psyche. Illustrating the restorative power of integrated negative emotion, this book challenges the notion that all negative emotion is undesirable and detrimental, revealing the psychological and spiritual benefits of identifying, understanding, and embracing all parts of the self.


Moving beyond traditional therapeutic technique, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF helps you understand the constructive use of aggression. It shows you how to enlist the power of your negative side, using it to bring balance and peace back to your life.


A self-help book within a novel, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a veritable storehouse of information. It both entertains and educates in a most delightful manner. IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a book to be savored. Thought provoking, readable, and beautifully written, it offers a new way of thinking about your negative side.


What do good people do with their negative feelings? Do they acknowledge them or disown them, focusing only on the positive? If the choice is for a positive focus, is this tantamount to denial? Does such a choice contribute to depression and anxiety? Is entertaining negativity synonymous with condoning it? Does negativity reside within or without the realm of spirituality?


Get the answers to all of these questions and much more!



IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF will help you learn:

  • About the powerful healing effect of correctly processed aggression.

  • How to responsibly process negative emotion.

  • How integrating negative emotion eliminates depression and anxiety.

  •  How premature forgiveness can be a form of self-deception.

  • How premature positive thinking can be a form of self-deception.

  • About the unitive state, where good and bad coexist.

  • How static beliefs turn into idols to be worshipped.

  • How to work with the child within.

  • About the lies we tell our emotional self.

  • How to flow with life’s cycles.

  • The truth about the game of life.

  • The value of acknowledging the earthly limitations to our power.

  • How to expand your spiritual awareness through an expanded knowledge of self.

  • How the quest for purity can deter your spiritual development. 




Despite Chris Sinclair’s best efforts to deal with her grief, a deathly shroud of depression advanced with impunity, gaining ground at an alarming rate. The man with whom she’d shared an intense soul connection for seven years had blown out the door in a lethal rage. He’d not explained, nor had he returned. Emotionally fragmented and deeply conflicted, Chris is left to question everything.
Answers not forthcoming, Chris finds herself lost in despair. Close to panic, she fears that if her answers don’t come soon her grief will overcome her and surely she’ll die of her own pain.
Chris flees to a remote Bahamian island searching for solace and, eventually, answers. There she meets Sari Slater, a retired psychoanalyst who shows her an unlikely path out of depression.
In a series of conversations that span a year, Sari helps Chris understand the remarkable healing power of constructively utilized aggression. This entails embracing your negative side rather than disowning it as well as replacing virtuous beliefs with present-moment experiencing.
A spiritual person intent on a positive focus, Chris struggles with the concept but comes to recognize the value of harnessing her shadow side. She also discovers the spiritual benefits of integrating her negativity as she moves beyond psychological splitting into wholeness.
Join Chris and Sari in their journey through light and darkness. Learn how acceptance, understanding, and compassion for all parts of the self can heal. See for yourself how relinquishing the quest for purity can lift you up and set you free.




Chapter 1:  Torn Remnants and Broken Shards
Dealing with Compulsory Loss
Chapter 2:  Beginning the Search
Altruism as Self-Deception
Chapter 3:  Plea for Deliverance
Finding the Inner Observer
Chapter 4:  Burial at Sea
Forgiveness as Self-Deception
Chapter 5:  Conch Graveyard
The Unwanted Self
Chapter 6:   Lies and Illusions
        Unlimited Power and Impossible Expectations
Chapter 7:  Tide Clock
        Flowing with Life’s Cycles
Chapter 8:  Shipwreck
Rescuing the Child Within
Chapter 9:  Starfish Beds
        Transforming Negative Emotion
Chapter 10: First Fish
        Moving Toward Independence
Chapter 11: The Limbo King
        Getting Honest
Chapter 12: Egg Hunt
        Allowing Rage to Move
Chapter 13: The Anklet
Letting Go
Chapter 14: Swamp Buggy
        Taking a Chance
Chapter 15: Lobster Obsession
        Having Fun
Chapter 16: Hawk’s Nest
        A New Beginning
Chapter 17: The Shelby Lane Lure
  Creatively Channeled Rage
Chapter 18: The Heiress
        Getting Lost in History
Chapter 19: Crab Lane
        Daring to Grieve
Chapter 20: The Unitive State
        Integrating Good and Bad
Chapter 21: Hurricane
        Accepting What Is
Chapter 22: Rebuilding
        Finding Peace in the Present Moment
Chapter 23: The Church
        Flying With or Without Him